The Healing of "Hubba-Hubba" with the Hubby

I have experienced first-hand being at war with my husband.  

The state of war tends to be magnified when you are in a place of personal dryness.  When there’s not enough finances, when you have little people, when there is so much demand on you, your time, your energy...  

When we as wives feel the pressure, we tend to lean that pressure into our husbands - and this creates a serious rift between a couple.

 When feeling empty, usually the LAST place you want to wring out your final ounce of energy is on the hubby.  

The first lesson I learned after many years of trying to light a firecracker under my husband to CHANGE our circumstances, and "fix things" is…

YOU can’t change your husband, only God can change your circumstances.  YOUR job is to pray (seek God's Kingdom), and encourage your husband/leader with action & words.

"...People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met."  Matthew 6:33 - The Message

Love vs The Frying Pan

Once we were arguing over some issue, and I knew I was right (I know I'm not always, but this time I was). I  put the heat on my hubby like trying to “brand” him with a hot iron of truth, but the more I pressed him, the more he’d resist and the bigger the explosion got.  We just needed to go to our separate corners of the ring for a cool off.  

That evening, I heard the Lord prompt my heart to serve him “in the bedroom”.  “NO WAY, GOD – DO YOU NOT SEE HOW WRONG HE IS?!?!?! “  is what I yelled at the creator of the universe (like that ever works - but I had to try).   

After wrestling with my feelings…and boy, I had plenty of them, and NONE were "warm fuzzy, let me cuddle up to my husband" ones.  They were more like "hit him over the head with a frying pan" ones.

As I wrestled, and wrestled with what I wanted...which was for my hubby to admit he was WRONG before I took a step closer to physically loving him, The Lord was oh so gentle to remind me to TRUST Him, and serve my hubby.  God has not let me down before, right?   

So, after some time sifting through my thoughts of using my frying pan for evil, and not scrambled eggs, I knew I could hesitate no longer.  I just needed to be obedient to serve him intimately.  I initiated some "hubba-hubba" time.  Mind you, words were different – I wasn't oozing with wanting to TELL him what a champion he was...I was still working through the fact that he was WRONG, but I knew I needed to encourage union.  In a sense, say to him with my actions that I was behind him, loving & supporting him.  

After some giggling, play, and cuddles, I no longer needed to hear (him say) how wrong he was - God had melted the anger in my heart, and filled it with love for the man I married many years ago.

But then...after our time together, the first words that came from his mouth were, “Chris, I’m such a jerk, I’m not worthy of your love, and I’m sorry.”

             OBEDIENCE. UNION. LOVE.

Liebster Blog Award

Last week I was very humbled & honored to be given the Liebster Award by fellow blogger, Sarah Avila.  Sarah is the author of My Joy-Filled Life, and is a devoted wife & super hero mom of 6 beautiful kids, with #7 on (his/her) way.  I love reading her balancing skills of following Jesus, while managing her home, and schooling her crew.  Thank you, Sarah for thinking of me for this award.

Liebster is a German word that means sweet, kind, nice, endearing, beloved, lovely, pleasant, valued, welcome.  

The Liebster Blog Award is a fun way to help mom bloggers promote other great mom bloggers - it is to be given to bloggers, by bloggers.  We all like to be recognized once in a while, especially when we know how much hard work goes into running a blog well.  It is a way to acknowledge each other and say, "You're doing a great job."  It is for blogs with 200 followers or less, so it's a great way to spread the word about smaller blogs.

When you receive the award, you post 11 random facts about yourself, and answer 11 questions from the person who gave you the award.  You then pass the award on to 11 deserving blogs, link them in your post, and ask them 11 questions. (Also link back to the blog which gave you the award).

11 Random Facts about me… 

1.  I will NOT put my hands in a dirty sink (makes me want to vomit)…but I can clean a toilet by hand.
2.   Despite the 4,564,309 things on my plate, I’m not a typical “woman” where I can multi-task it all at once.  I short circuit if I don’t do one thing at a time.  I long to be a typical woman/multi-tasker.
3. Food rule, “Sweet & Meat DON’T mix” no cranberry sauce with Turkey – yuck, no Pineapple with Ham – blah.
4. My feet are ALWAYS cold…even though I live in FLORIDA and its a million degrees out.
5. According to “Beth Moore” I have trash-can-a-phobia, and toilet-roll-a-phobia and now that my girls are older it’s getting harder to blame them.
6. The ONLY way to eat an Oreo is dipped in peanut butter, then milk
7. I’m only 5’1” on a good day (with shoe-help) yet people wonder why my girls are short little peanuts.
8.  I LOVE Anne of Green Gables
9. I sleep with about 10 pillows, but wish I had more.  My hubby & I have a pillow war pretty much every night – there are not enough floofy pillows in the world.
10. I am a YWAMer – went to the Kona, HI base for school.
11. After living buried in snow for 25 years, NO, I don’t miss it - and it doesn’t affect the ambiance of Christmas. 

Questions from Sarah:
 

1.  What were your reasons for starting a blog?

To document my journey for myself & my family – since we’re a family spread out “across 2 countries” Blogging was the best set up to “scrapbook” our life, lessons, and journey.
2.  What is your favorite holiday/time of year?

Oh I’m a Christmas girl!  I love the lights, family traditions, and the fact people will acknowledge Christ.
3.  If you could choose 3 words to describe yourself, what would they be?

Short (5”1’ on a good day (with platform shoes),  Sassy, and passionate.
4.  What is your favorite childhood memory?

I had a rough upbringing, but I went camping with my grandparents.

5.  What is your #1 advice that you give or would give to new moms?

SCHEDULE - We read "Babywise" and it saved my sanity.  I don't do well sleep-deprived since I HATE the taste of coffee (even though I like the smell of it). 
6.  Do you have a Pinterest account?  If so, what kind of things do you pin the most?

No way - there is such thing (for me) as too much of a good thing.  I have addiction issues to all things pretty, cooking, crafting...I would get completely lost in it way too easily.
7.  Where is your favorite vacation spot?

I’m going to say anywhere I can put my toes in in the soft sand along a beautiful beach.
8.  What do you do to stay healthy?

UUUUUUMMMM – the big key word is WHEN I am motivated to stay healthy - I love going on long walks…
9.  What is your favorite book of the Bible, and why?

I really love James because I need all the encouragement I can get to live upright.
10.  Are you a morning person or a night owl?

I’m am SOOOO not a morning person.
11.  Are you a sports fan?  If so, what is your favorite sport and/or team?

Being Canadian, it was a requirement to love all things Hockey

 I'm passing the award on to the following bloggers, who I believe truly embody the meaning of Liebster:

Emily Cook @ Weak and Loved

Lori Hatcher @ Be Not Weary

Boasting in my Weakness

Denise @ With Eyes Fixed on HIM

Amy @ Sunshine Sentiments

Katie @ Renaissance Mamma

Allison @ A Few Sprinkles Short of a Sundae

Rachel @ My Heart's Mission

Serving a Generation for Jesus

Katy @ From the Little White House

Hopeful Future

 Here are the questions for the blogs above:

1. What are you cooking these days?
2. Where do you go to de-stress?
3. What scripture speaks the most to you? 
4.  What’s the most impactful advice you have for new moms?
5. Do you like SWEET or SALTY snacks?
6. What’s your favorite family time event?
7.  What is your least favorite chore to do around the house?
8. What did (one of) your kid(s) do to make you laugh recently?
9. Do you play or watch any sports?   
10. Are you a country or city girl?
11. If you could lead ANY ministry organization, which one would it be and why?